does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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