He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
