Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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