he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize