The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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