it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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