i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
