shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
She announced her abortion via fbk
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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