you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Randomize