I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I am naked and annoyed.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
