I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Just high enough for therapy.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
