There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
