I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Randomize
