it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
