I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
