apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I'm at about main and main street
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
