Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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