Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
