This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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