Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Ladies don't puke and tell
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize
