Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize