Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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