I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
