Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
