so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
He has the fingertips of a God
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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