he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Randomize
