I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
