he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
