You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize