now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
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