Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Randomize
