I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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