that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
