A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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