I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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