I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
