dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
