she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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