i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
