So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
