i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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