Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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