I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize