there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
