I got chris browned last night
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
