You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
