Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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