at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
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