they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
