Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
