I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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