I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
