shes about as inviting as chlamydia
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
