he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
