Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
