never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
