So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize