OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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