Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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