is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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