My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
