his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
