just survived the first fart of the relationship.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Randomize
