How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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