They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize