Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
