bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
