I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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