North Korea, Best Korea!
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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