It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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