franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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