we're blogging at a bar
Screwed.edu
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
