It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
