Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
