Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
