Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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