Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Randomize
