I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I need a hoe opinion
go on
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
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