FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
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