You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I think i got beer on your cat.
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