I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize