you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
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