Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize