She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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